The Ike & Tina Turner Revue

Unlikely as it sounds, Gentle Reader, I too make mistakes. This was one of them: Ike & Tina Turner - The Collection - Ten CDs - 160 odd songs, twenty-odd quid. Bargain? Think again.

The recordings are about as far from remastered as you can get - volume levels all over the shop, enormous amounts of silence before and after tracks, and some audio so insultingly poor your ears will weep to hear it. Furthermore, each CD is barely half full, so the whole selection takes up twice as much room as it should - assuming it were any good.

Which leads to the packaging - ten discs - two inlay pictures, one set of sleeve notes. Yes - the same sleeve notes in every case. And no production information on anything.

Frankly, this stinks of bootleg, and not in a good way. If Ike Turner’s estate knew this product existed, they’d probably kill it with fire.

But all is not lost. If your CD rack is bowing under the weight of this great stool of a CD, it is still possible to make a passable playlist. Allow me to oblige.

Too many tears in my eyes
I idolize you
Come together
Took a trip
Take the time
I got my mojo working
No more lovin’
Down in the valley
Why I sing the blues
Ya ya
Trouble on my mind
You are my sunshine
You can’t have your cake
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do
Sugar sugar
What kind of love
Finger poppin’ time
High heel sneakers
Jo jo
I’m blue
Shake a hand
Money
It’s gonna work out fine
River deep, mountain high
Nutbush City limits
Shake a tail feather
Sweet Rhode Island red
Proud Mary

Pernuptial Diversion

Or, Music to get Married by.

1st June 2002.

Yes, there was a Spider-Man theme, of sorts.

No, Tim Sale did not provide the artwork.


Camille Yarbrough Take yo praise
Peggy Lee Fever
Dianne Reeves & Grant Green Down here on the ground
Perez Prado & Rosemary Clooney Sway
Stan Getz & Joao Gilberto The girl from ipanema
Dr John Mama Roux
Mary Jane Hooper I’ve got reasons
The Apollas Seven days
Martha & the Vandellas Third finger, left hand
Smokey Robinson & the Miracles I second that emotion
Temptations I’ll be in trouble
Brass Construction The message (inspiration)
Sly & the Family Stone (You caught me) Smilin’
Brass Construction Wake up
Lynda Lyndell What a man
Fatback Band Gotta have your love (day by day)
Lou Rawls You made me so very happy
Julie London Fly me to the moon
Detroit Emeralds Baby let me take you
Shirley Bassey Light my fire
Jamiroquai Falling

Chasing the Big Ones

No more will this stand! Since yore have we eked out meagre subsistence from biscuits and Vaseline, but is this fair damnation for us fine folk of reason? Nay, we don’t demand banquets of bison stuffed with quail and venison, but we do demand a fair share of gravy for a fair slab of bacon! The time is apposite: our chests are kindled with fire, and our minds are filled with myrrh. So, hold, enough! Bring fair Birnam Wood to Dunsinane, throw our warlike shields before our bodies and arrest any fellow who dare deny our Fanta and Alka-Seltzer. Indeed – for as they say, those not part of the solution are part of the problem, and the dogs and jackals will feast on their bones and purr, yes purr, as they digest their gristly knuckles and wiry entrails. So, without further ado, give us liberty and stew! Aye, prepare us a fine porridge of hip hop, with the odd fruity morsel of soul slash R&B for digestive purposes and perhaps a little dancehall to season. Wrap it up, barbecue and serve with reverence and fries.

Blackstreet No diggity
Marques Houston & Jermaine Dupri Pop that booty
Lady Saw I got your man
Deltron 3030 Mastermind
CL Smooth & Jazzy Jeff All I know
Big Daddy Kane Ain’t no half steppin’
C2C feat Hocus Pocus Feel good
Lyrics Born Do that there
Dave Ghetto & Jazzy Jeff Come on
Sincere feat Natty Once upon a time
Das EFX They want EFX
Jurassic 5 Freedom
Lupe Fiasco Gold watch
The Coup Laugh/love/fuck
Sam & Dave Wrap it up
Wendy Rene Bar-B-Q
Roberta Flack Reverend Lee
Common Misunderstood
Quasimoto Chippin’